“Comparison is the thief of joy.”

I was hesitant to write this post. It’s not the sort of topic I usually write about, but that quote by Theodore Roosevelt got to me and I just couldn’t shake it.

He was right. Comparison is TOTALLY the thief of joy.

Often with clients I discuss how destructive it is to compare yourself to others. And we all do it. We look at someone in the gym, in the grocery store, at work, or in a magazine, and the comparisons begin:

She’s SO skinny. (I’m not)

Her hair is so shiny and long. (mine isn’t)

Wow, she is really strong and fast. (I’m slow and weak)

He has a really great car. (my car sucks)

He is super successful. (I’m not)

What’s the common thread? All comparisons begin with lack. Something you don’t have, that you think that other person has, that you know you need in order to be happy.

Joy stolen.

But, and please, please get this: YOU MADE IT UP. It’s not “true”. It’s your story. And guess who is the only person that notices the lack?


This is a form of negative self-talk that we all do and it must stop. It is disempowering. It achieves the opposite of what you want. It stops you before you even start: “I can’t workout at the gym, those people are all in great shape and I’m not!” Really?? That doesn’t even make sense when you look at it written down, but I can’t tell you how many times someone has said that to me.

Or, “Nicole, I’m not as disciplined as you when it comes to food.” Um, I did not come out of the womb eating kale and quinoa. I had a HUGE sugar addiction that I battled for most of my 20’s. Oreos, Ding Dongs and Sour Patch Kids were my jam! Seriously. Ask my mom.

We are all wholly, beautifully, perfectly, fucked up human beings. ALL of us. And that is just as it should be. So stop comparing. Stop taking your joy away. Experience joy.  Every day.


You know what brings me joy?  When I prepare a recipe that turns out crazy good.  This is one one that I would have NEVER guessed would taste as good as it did.  Even my son liked it and asked for seconds!

Savory Cauliflower Cake

Taken from Eating Well.

  • 1 medium head of cauliflower (about 2 pounds), trimmed and broken into small florets
  • 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 medium onion, thinly sliced
  • ¾ teaspoon caraway seed, ground or crushed
  • ½ teaspoon ground coriander
  • ½ teaspoon crushed red pepper
  • ¾ teaspoon salt, divided
  • ¾ cup garbanzo bean flour
  • ¼ cup all-purpose flour or gluten-free flour blend
  • ½ teaspoon baking powder
  • 6 large eggs
  • 1 jarred roasted red pepper, rinsed and chopped (about ½ cup)
  • ¾ cups crumbled feta cheese
  • 3 tablespoons chopped fresh dill, divided
  1. Preheat oven to 350F. Line the bottom and sides of a 9-inch springform pan with parchment paper
  2. Bring about 1 inch of water to a boil in a large pot fitted with a steamer basket. Add cauliflower and steam until tender, 8 to 10 minutes.
  3. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and cook, stirring, until tender and golden, about 8 minutes. Add caraway seed, coriander, crushed red pepper and ½ teaspoon salt; cook, stirring , until fragrant, about 1 minute. Gently stir in the steamed cauliflower, doing your best not to break up the florets, and cook for 2 to 3 minutes to combine flavors.
  4. Whisk garbanzo bean flour, all-purpose flour (or gluten-free blend), baking powder and the remaining ¼ teaspoon salt in a bowl. Whisk eggs in a large bowl until mixed. Sprinkle the dry ingredients over the eggs and whisk to combine and eliminate most of the lumps. Stir in roasted red pepper, feta and 2 tablespoons dill. Add the cauliflower mixture and gently stir to combine. Spread the mixture evenly into the prepared pan.
  5. Bake until the top is golden and the cake is set, 35 to 45 minutes. Let cool to warm; remove the pan sides and the parchment. Serve warm or at room temperature, garnished with the remaining 1 tablespoon dill.

*Nicole’s Notes:

  • If you don’t have a springform, or if your pan un-springs as you are putting it into the oven (yes, that happened), feel free to use any old baking pan. Just spray liberally with oil as it is a little sticky. The presentation is definitely prettier with the springform pan, though.
  • Garbanzo bean flour can be found at Whole Foods.

Thoughts?  Questions?  Leave me a comment below!

Eat well.